Yes. I’m fucking disgusting. I hate myself. It’s a mash album. I have never hated myself for putting an album up here. I assume that whoever is reading this will not only be surprised that this album is here, but will instantly want nothing else to do with me or this blog. I just posted a fucking classical album goddamnit!
A large part of me deeply, deeply, hates this album and myself for ever having listened to it. But at the same time, I cannot deny how many times I laughed out loud (literal laughter) while listening to this album. I also can’t deny how many nostalgic moments, and gut retching reactions I had while listening to it. Also, the amount of work behind each track is undeniable. Solely because this album challenged me, and touched me places I never wanted to be touched, am I writing this.
If you didn’t grow up in front of American television during the ’80s, ’90s, or ’00s, there is no fucking reason to listen to this shit. Actually, if you didn’t, this will be the most annoying album you have ever fucking listened to. So stay as far away from this album as possible. Stay away. This shit is not for you. I, on the other hand, have the unfortunate situation of having an encyclopaedia like memory of pop culture and shit music from the ’80s, ’90s, and “00s. Yes … it’s torture every day. It should be considered a fucking condition.
Let’s take the first song and look at what’s sampled: Barenaked Ladies “One Week” (a fucking theme to the fucking bitch of an album this is. You will hear this song more than once.), The Smashing Pumpkins “Bullet with Butterfly Wings”, Foo Fighter’s “Best of You”, Montell Jordan “This is How We Do It”, Talking Heads “And She Was”, Prince “Kiss”, James Brown “I Got You (I Feel Good)”, MC Hammer “U Can’t Touch This”, Cake “This Distance”, Carl Douglas “Kung Fu Fighting”, OutKast “Hey Ya!” C+C Music Factory “Gonna Make You Sweat (Everybody Dance Now)”, Sam and the Sham and the Pharaohs “Wolly Bully”, and, of course, Nine Days “Absolutely (Story of a Girl)”. Does this seem like a lot? Ya, it is. Are all those songs fucking annoying, ya basically. Fuck this album.
So, I will never listen to this album twice. Oh sweet Mary fucking god. There’s a section of hell that is this album on repeat. But holy Moses and sweet Jebediah is it fucking fun, a full on fucking blast, to listen to ONCE. ONCE! OOONNNCCCE!
Also, there is an art to sampling music (aka. Plunderphonics. That’s right, there’s a fucking name for it). And the progression of this art is fucking fast. Artists like, Girl Talk, The Avalanches, MF Doom, Dangermouse, are already turning into old masters in their late 20s.
The real reason I enjoyed this album is because it does this: I remember hearing this music at the time and hating it for “sounding the same as all that other pop shit”. Though, at the time, I had no proof of this. Now I do, and it’s this album. Similar elements are thrown in together because, well, they are the exact same elements. Honestly? I don’t think the guy who made the album even knows he’s doing this. I think it’s purely accidental. But, if there is some person who somehow still loves this boring pop shit, I can throw on this album and show them that all the songs are the fucking same. If I do this, I will do it while running away, covering my ears, and holding back laughter.