If you’ve read my shit and think, “I’m not really into jazz that much” then get ready for an entire fucking cosmos to Big Bang up inside of that dome. You could sneeze while listening to this and blow entire solar systems out of your face. Without this shit? I wouldn’t have given a fuck about jazz. This album destroyed my life. It separated me from those that “appreciate jazz” to some motherfucker spending every dollar, poor and hungry, awaiting my newest sonic fix with a dumb smile on my face. If jazz is a drug, this was my first free hit. And now, I’m a fucking addict.
No, I don’t want any of your fucking help.
This is one of the greatest albums to ever grace this earth. It invented genres. It broke barriers. It changed the world. The fact that you are a human with ears and have the ability to listen to this album is an absolute miracle. I don’t mean miracle in a light sense. This shit is biblical. As someone parted the sea and a virgin gave birth right there in the damp soil of the sea floor, the first track of this album began to play. This is orgasms in sound waves. We should all wake up each day like orphan children on Christmas Day waking up to our new parents because we can listen to this shit. It’s fucking perfect and it always will pure dance-ilious.
The first song “Chameleon” has been samples by 2Pac, Nas, Coolio, and Beck. The second song “Watermelon Man” has been sampled by George Michael, Madonna, Digable Planets, and LL Cool J. Both these songs will be sampled a hundred times more. They are the definition of groove. Recorded in ’73, Herbie Hancock, that slickest of motherfuckers on the keys (who also sports that wicked robot mask on this album cover) began to “feel that I had been spending so much time exploring the upper atmosphere of music and the more ethereal kind of far-out spacey stuff. Now there was this need to take some more of the earth and to feel a little more tethered; a connection to the earth”. This motherfucker made such a connection to earth that he inhabited its essence. For a short time during this recording we were no longer living on planet earth, we were living on planet Hancock.
You think I’m going to get into the background of this album? Fuck no! Hearing the history of this album won’t change a fucking thing. You think I’m blowing this album out of proportion? Good, I want you to think that. I want you to get all cynical and judgy. Then, as that first track takes you over with its easy funk styles and grooves you’ll think, “Fuck, that stupid vulgar motherfucker was right.” It doesn’t seduce with grandeur. It seduces in delight. This is jazz. And, for those of you asking for an intro, this is fucking it.
Enjoy your new addiction.